Desperate
Desperate: (Adjective) Tried when everything else has failed; having little hope of success.Now this is just getting effing ridiculous. Heidi and Spencer have resorted to bringing paparazzi to the grocery store? I guess they're exhausting their options pretty quickly now, having held "photo shoots" everywhere from the shooting range to the place formerly known as the Happiest Place on Earth. I guess the only place left now is the DMV. No wait, actually I believe they've done that before, too.
Oh, OK. You two think you're so damn smart, don't you? Well I've got one -- how about the Tar Pits? Do they still have tar in them? I can see it now, Heidi in a pink bikini, smearing tar all over her plastic boobs with that big slack-jawed smile on her face. Or better yet, how about a volcano! Nothing says "the perfect photo op" like a football field-sized caldron of bubbling, two thousand degree lava. I hear Lauren Conrad expressed interest in holding her next fashion show on the lip of an active volcano -- so you guys better go get on that, ASAP.
Remember that episode of "The Simpsons" where all the advertisements come to life and start murdering everyone in Springfield? And the only way to make them stop is by ignoring them? And how eventually, by merely, avoiding any reference to them and refusing to acknowledge their existence, they all collapse under their own weight and just fucking died? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
That episode's on tonight. Can you tape it for me?
Stacey:
No snark about the photos of Heidi holding those (water)melons?
None?
Not even a "at those have a ntural shape and texture"?
You have to bring Dustin back if you can't even shoot fish in a barrel.
But see... That's the difference between Dustin and myself: I tend to go for the joke less traveled. Well, that and about 100 pounds.
PS: Zing!
Hey now! That's only because you weigh less than 80 pounds, you damned waif!
And let's be honest: I would've complained about the inherent misogyny of the photo, said something insufferable about the plight of those poor grocery items, decried the lack of Ryan Reynolds in the photo, then beat my head on my desk until it bled.
I am, if nothing, predictable.
See now, hater? You're going to have to think long and hard* before making these kinds of wild, unfounded requests. See what could have happened here? The insufferable plights of the poor grocery items?! Oh, the horror!!
*Hee!
they really fit in nicely with cheap, manufactured crap.
You know...I couldn't put my finger on it before, but Heidi looks like a thin Miss Piggy doesn't she? Facially, at least. That's right Spencer, in twenty years she'll still be shrilling, but she'll have more cushion for the pushin'. And all you'll ever amount to is a douchey version of Kermit the Frog. Ribbit, bitch.