Duel: (Noun) A contest with deadly weapons arranged between two people in order to settle a point of honor.

Here's one of those rare stories that only comes around every once in awhile, which warms my heart and completely reaffirms my faith in the gossip industry: Michael Lohan wants to fight Kevin Federline. Oh, please please please please!!!

"Everyone wants me to fight K-fed because he’s a notorious celebrity dad and so am I," Michael tells OK! exclusively. "It’s for charity... I’ve been beaten up by the press, so I don’t care if I get a few shots by a kid half my age.”

Of course, we all know who the real "beneficiary" of this "charity" will be, and that's Michael Lohan -- who has already received undeserved attention just for suggesting such an event. But damned if I give a flying fart. I'll give the guy five American dollars out of my pocket right now to see him get his ass kicked by K Fed. Sure, that $5 bucks probably could have bought me a sandwich; but seeing a grown man have his last morsels of dignity pounded out of him? That, my friends, is priceless. And also, the beauty behind "Bumfights."

Shar Jackson with cupcakes (???) at her 32nd birthday party this weekend; because nobody wants to see pictures of Michael Lohan or K Fed: