False Advertising
False Advertising: (Noun) The use of false or misleading statements in advertising.At first I was going just to update yesterday's post about Jessica Simpson endorsing Stampede Light Plus with this advertisement here, but then after I got a good look at it I decided it really needed a whole post unto itself.
Now having said that... Class, would anyone like to tell me what's wrong with this picture? That's right, say it with me now: Jessica Simpson... is... not... smart. Jessica Simpson is the complete opposite of smart. She is smart's nemesis. It's not like this isn't a heavily documented fact or anything. The woman only built her entire career around not knowing the difference between tuna fish and chicken. More often than not she can't even remember to keep her mouth closed. (See above.) So basing the reputation of your beer on the claim that Jessica Simpson is smart is about as beneficial as some redneck finding a partially decomposed mouse floating in one of his bottles and then going on the "Today" show with his big city lawyer to talk about it. You chuckleheads.
Who is this ad trying to sell beer too? Women? Men? Butch lesbians? She shouldn't look like that in an ad to get women to drink beer. She looks skanky. But then again, skanks make up the entirety of Jessica Simpson's fan base.
I was going to say, "She's like the arch-enemy of smart" when I saw the poster, but then Stacey said that Jess is the "nemesis" of smart.
Curse you, SAT prep and your $5 vocabulary!
Pffft. I scored like 1060 on the SATs. It's all about the thesaurus, baby!
It looks like a mannequin. Vacant expression, dead eyes, shitty extensions. Oh and of course a cowboy hat, 'cause y'know she's country now.
That looks nothing like Jessica Simpson.
Bitch looks like she's about to sneeze.
Wait a second...can't tell the difference between chicken and tuna fish? Isn't that Shania Twain? (Nice Huckabees reference, though)!
She's smart enough to have big tits.
I don't believe for one second that Jessica Simpson drinks beer. Not one second.