Morbid: (Adjective) Characterized by an abnormal and unhealthy interest in death.

Well, I'm happy to start out this morning with some fantastic news: Christina Applegate revealed that she's gone through treatment and is now cancer free! She, on the other hand, had a more colorful way of announcing it.

"I'm clear," Applegate tells ABC News' "Good Morning America" in an interview airing Tuesday. "Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. It did not spread. They got everything out, so I'm definitely not going to die from breast cancer." (Source)

So in other words, there's no guarantee Christina Applegate won't die from getting hit by a bus, ninja assault, wild boar attack, falling into a vat of hydrochloric acid or old age. Well that's just fucking great. Thanks for nothing, science.