Piece of Work (Noun)A person whose stupidty and ignorance never fails to amaze you. 

You know what's completely messed up about the very unfortunate car accident that Morgan Freeman experienced over the weekend? I was perusing the wire today, when I spotted a story written by the goddamn Associated Press, which focused on the other woman in Freeman's car, writing, "the woman who was injured along with Morgan Freeman in a weekend car accident apparently is a friend of the Oscar-winning actor who had offered him a ride home" (italics mine).

Uh. Listen here, Holbrook Morh. When someone says that the woman in Freeman's car is a friend, that means she is a friend. I don't like what you're implying here, asshole. This is Morgan Fucking Freeman, you jackass. Dude's been married to the same woman for nearly 25 years, and there is no reason in the ever-loving world for you to imply anything illicit. We're not talking about a coked-up starletard here; we're talking about a 71-year-old Oscar-winning actor who could have you killed. What? A guy can't have another woman in his car -- a woman who is, by all accounts, a friend of the family, and an avid gardener -- without some dipshit AP writer trying to parlay a job over on TMZ? The man is in serious condition, and you're calling into question his faithfulness to his wife. Real nice, douchewand. You're a piece of work, dipshit.

Egg On Your Face (Expression) To be extremely embarrassed. Usually the embarrassment is the result of one's own actions.

Update: Hell! It appears that Morgan Freeman and his wife are actually getting a divorce. My apologies to Holbrook Mohr for calling him a dipshit; I clearly was not as prescient as he. You win again, Holbrook! I'm going to go an wipe the egg off my face now.