Since today is like a desert wasteland for gossip, (seriously: I even saw a tumbleweed blow across people.com) the biggest news is four-year-old nude photos of Christina Aguilera. Eh, works for me. (Yeeeah!)

Oh yeah, and Lily Allen's boob "accidentally" fell out of her shirt, but that's not really so much news as an almost daily occurrence. (The Blemish)

Okay... Make that a bi-daily occurrence. (Celebslam)

Eva Longoria: Pregnant or a case of chimichanga gas? (Seriously? OMG!)

And while we're on the subject of chimichanga gas... (Agent Bedhead)

Jamie Lynn takes Maddie Briann to her very first special trip to the Wal-Marts. (Socialite's Life)

A "scientific" study says that your music listening habits say a lot about you, and is not offensive or stereotypical at all whatsoever. (Rad Report)

Jennifer Aniston's dog is prejudiced against gay douchebags. (Celebitchy)

OK, I see how it is. I'm stuck doing snaps on the slowest fucking news day ever, and Dustin gets to go see the Pineapple Express. Oh well. At least it wasn't very good. (Pajiba)

And finally, I am happy to report that our friends over at BWE are taking a stand for one of my personal favorite causes: telling PETA to shut the eff up. (Best Week Ever)