Tori Spelling: crappy actress, crappy reality star, pisser of graves. (BestWeekEver)

Britney Spears is landing the role of a lifetime: “killer lesbian stripper.” (Celebitchy)

Rainbow Killer looks like she smelt a fart. (Seriously? OMG!)

Defying all laws of nature, Jenna Jameson has miraculously conceived a child. Knock, knock: "Jesus, is that you in there?" (Yeeeah!)

Cindy Crawford is still sunbathing topless with the best on 'em. (The Blemish)

40-year-old Lisa Marie Presley is having twins. Seriously, do any celebrities just do it the old fashioned way anymore? (CelebWarship)

Now here's the Paris we've come to know and loathe. (cityrag)

You know it's a slow news day when Artie Lang heading to rehab is a viable story. (CelebritySmack)

It's like a toilet seat sanitary cover, only for your keyboard to catch food crumbs. Yeah... crumbs. (omg blog)

Elizabeth Rohm takes a cue from PETA by wearing romaine lettuce. (Ayyyy!)

Not for a the faint of heart: horrifying ER stories. (Pajiba)