Ultimatum (Noun) A final statement of terms made by one party to another.

Jennifer Aniston, currently robbing the pansy, white boy rocker cookie jar, met up with John Mayer a few weeks ago during a break in his tour and laid down the law with the boy, telling him that it was high time he moved his skinny little ass in and maybe started thinking about buying her a rock. According to super-secret, CIA counterspy double-agent sources, Mayer said that, "while he’s not against it in principle, they have to give it time.'

Hey now! Time is the last thing that Aniston has. While 30-year-old adolescent who sings about rolling up tiny balls of napkin paper may have all the time in the world, Ms. Aniston only has a few cycles left on those eggs of hers before they shrivel up and turn to fairie dust. And if she doesn't spit out a kid RIGHT FUCKING NOW, how will she ever be able to hold her head up around Brad and that robot-killing, high-tech baby-spitting vagina of his?

Tick tock.