Catastrophe: (Noun) An event causing great and often sudden damage or suffering.

As you've probably heard by now, musicians Travis Barker and DJ AM were the sole survivors of a Learjet crash, which killed four people including the pilot and Barker's assistant. The two remain in critical condition due to severe second and third degree burning, but are expected to make full recoveries.

This whole thing is pretty sad, and I would consider myself lucky to go a lifetime without experiencing the excruciatingly painful injuries these two have sustained. And so, until the day that Heather Mills loses her other leg in a plane crash or Joe Francis gets his dick burned off, I will continue my longstanding tradition of not making fun of plane crash victims.

Editor's note: Babies are still fair game.