Amy Winehouse is as pretty as a picture. A picture of kittens that somebody turned inside out and set on fire. (Yeeeah!)

Angelina Jolie is already ham-fistedly clawing for that Oscar. (Pajiba)

Gee willikers! Awesome disguise, Cap'n Dipshit! (Seriously? OMG!)

OH HELL NO. Ali Lohan to move in with Lindsay? (The Blemish)

Kanye says it's totally cool, he and the paps are like this. (Celebitchy)

Tila Tequila has a book coming out which isn't just naked photos of herself. (Celebslam)

The studio execs behind Righteous Kill are pretending Fiddy doesn't exist. (Agent Bedhead)

Guess which body part Holly Madison flashed this week? Hint: rhymes with tipple! (IDLYITW)

Liz Taylor still goes to gay bars and drink martinis. You go girl!* (CelebSmack)

Katy Perry and Perez Hilton. And me, sadly without a flamethrower. (usemycomputer)

What is Sarah Palin hiding? I'd have to guess a tail. Ohhh, or did they mean like the metaphorical kind? (popbytes)

Sophie Monk rides her cute pink bike in a bikini. (Rad Report)

All of Madonna's awesome Kabbalahores come out to support her! (Lainey Gossip)

Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox are BFFs through whine and wine. (IBBB)

* Editor's note: this fills my yearly quota of saying "you go girl" not ironically.