Train Wreck: (Noun) A  huge, fiery mess you can't take your eyes off of.

The Fox Reality Channel's Reality Awards were held last night... And the only way I can even really begin to describe this sort of affair is imagine every train on planet Earth all crashing into each other at once. Seriously, I think the evening is considered a rousing success if Danny Bonaduce doesn't break anyone's face. These aren't D-List celebrities... These aren't even Q-list celebrities. These are the people leftover after big names like Tila Tequila and Tiffany "New York" Pollard have "scheduling conflicts."

Being that most of the guests are on loan from the nation's various rehab centers, I think if someone were to crack open a bottle of Jack Daniels it would cause mayhem and violent stampeding usually reserved for proms that get hijacked by teenage girls with murderous telekinetic powers.

And yet? I would totally pick this shit over the boring-ass Emmys or Oscars in a hot minute. Christ, the motherbleeping Stallionaires were in the house!







More red crap-et photos after the jump!