Everybody's favorite serial killer has been picked up for two more seasons. And watch your mouth, Dustin! Michael C. Hall never wears thin... In my heart. (Pajiba)

Summer Glau makes me feel squishy in my funny place. (usemycomputer)

Madonna can shove her pity party right up that bleached asshole of hers. (Lainey Goss)

Hee-yaw! Welcome to Jennifer Aniston Bump-Watch 2008! (Yeeeah!)

The now-former Miss Teen USA is possibly the dumbest teenager in history of dumb teenagers. (The Blemish)

The Desperate Housewives are going to have to start hitting up Goodwill Fashions. (Seriously? OMG!)

Awww! Fantastic news! Willow Rosenberg and Wesley Wyndam Price are having a babers! (Celebitchy)

The loser who stole Miley Cyrus's pictures from the internet got busted. (Celebslam)

William Shatner threw a piss about not getting invited to Sulu's wedding. (Agent Bedhead)

Britney got off. And not in the fun, sexy way she used to with Adnan. (IDLYITW)

"Paris for President" is starting to wear thin. (CelebSmack)