Jennifer Carpenter and her big, giant face screams her head off in Quarantine. (Pajiba)

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! Yeah... She totally sucked dick for coke.  (Yeeeah!)

Lindsay and Sam are either breaking up, engaged or possibly not either of those two. But it's definitely one of those three options! (The Blemish)

Shannen Doherty is coming back to "90210" for two more episodes. Why don't they just make her a regular and be done with it? (Seriously? OMG!)

Heidi Montag coyly fakes pregnancy; impresses no one. (Celebitchy)

To uggo to pose naked? It's OK, PETA can still find a way to exploit you. (Best Week Ever)

HBO's "True Blood" has hot buttered vampire sex. (cityrag)

Poor little Suri still doesn't have any friends. (CelebWarship)

Well of course Tony Romo isn't going to propose if you keep wearing those unflattering sweatpants. That's for after the honeymoon. (BricksAndStones)

Holy crap! Serena Williams looks like she could be quarterback for the 49ers. (HQ Celeb)

The dumb one from "The Hills" does Maxim. Oh, I kid. They're all dumb! (Popoholic)

"How to look slammin' and better than everyone there with Mila Kunis." (IDWYL)