Lying A-Holes
Lying A-Holes: (Noun) Deceptive, lying despicable people who are full of lies.Remember Heidi and Spencer's super secret, spontaneous wedding which was so super secret and spontaneous that it shocked friends and family? Well, it may not have actually been so super secret and spontaneous after all, because an informed source of mine (whose mom is a travel agent) said that getting married in Cabo requires a good deal of red tape which can take up to four days to complete. Here is part of the list of requirements:
• Current passport as proof of ID and marital status.
• Certified copy of both party's birth certificates.
• Tourist card (received upon arrival in Mexico) or visa.
• Names, addresses, nationalities, occupations and ages of both parents.
• Health certificate and blood test (hotels will help set up the tests, which must be done in Mexico).
• Four witnesses (these can be provided by a wedding planner or the hotel locally for an extra fee). Will also need to provide their names, addresses, occupations, ages and photo ID.
So what does this prove? Nothing, really. But since I am fairly sure, at the very least, Heidi couldn't provide the ages of her parents since she can't count past ten -- it does strongly allude to the fact that this alleged super secret, spontaneous wedding was either meticulously planned out for publicity like everything else in their stupid, worthless, godforsaken lives; or that they totally scammed Us Weekly so Spencer cold buy a toilet made of solid gold or something. And I'm really, really hoping it's the second one, and that solid gold toilets aren't refundable after you already poop in them.
Older photos of ol' Dead Behind the Eyes and Gorton's Fisherman Beard eating tacos like they mean it:
I am much more interested in the re-coupling of Sean and Madonna on that cover of US weekly. Of all the men Madonna has taken down, Sean Penn seems the only one in her class of interstellar mind-fuckery. It's like the clash of Jack Donaghy and Alexis Carrington, only for reals.
BTW, Spencer Pratt has a mouth full of dog shit.
I'm going to say that every day until it comes true.
I am also grossly surprised that their honeymoon video hasn't hit the interwebs yet. Talk about the cash cow they have yet to milk to the dry teat -- if Tommy Lee and Barb Wire's video could sell, I am sure that Spencer and his oval-headed bride could market their nuptuals.
That is, if Spencer has a dick. By the looks of his shitty facial hair, he probably was castrated as a lad -- which explains a lot.
Stacey, have you BEEN to Mexico? Here are the real requirements for a marriage:
(1) The stuff you listed, or
(2) A couple of hundred bucks greased into the right palms.
Trust me, if you have cash and want to get married right now in Cabo with nothing but a driver's license and a business card, you can do it.
But yeah, you're probably 100% right about the lying asshole part.
Well thanks a lot for rubbing it in my face that I've never been to Mexico. I'm gonna go have a good cry now.
Well, you can make a quickie cash wedding happen in Mexico, but it wouldn't be legally recognised. Not there and not here. Then, at any point, one or both of the parties could be all, "Oh my God, I've been scammed! Woe is me, I deserve five trillion dollars as compensation for my suffering!" Actually, I really hope that's exactly what happened. Can you even imagine the awesomeness of Spencer and Heidi in Mexican court?
maybe they ran off to India, where you can marry a houseplant or a dog. or a hybrid.