ALLLLLL ABOARD! (Agent Bedhead)

Twilight is intoxicating "like convenience-store malt liquor." (Pajiba)

John Mayer finally meets Jennifer Aniston's boring-ass parents. (Yeeeah!)

Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan are trying therapy to make her not want the cock anymore. (The Blemish)

Stephanie Tanner splits from husband #2 at the ripe old age of 26. (Seriously? OMG!)

The NY Times is accusing Angelina Jolie of owning the press. Well, she still doesn't own me, now do you Queen Angelina? (Celebitchy)

AnnaLynne McCord from the new "90210" lets it all hang out. Pssst: I mean her boobies. (Celebslam)

Damn. It's like an ass that was carved him God himself. (IDLYITW)

Madonna and Guy: finally fucking over. (CelebSmack)

The lovely Summer Glau the the GQ Men of the Year party. (usemycomputer)

Ooh! John Krasinski and Emily Blunt might may [sic] be dating, maybe. (Lainey Goss)

Heidi Montag looks dead-eyed going through airport security. (IBBB)