Rip-Off: (Noun) A fraud or swindle, esp. something that is grossly overpriced.

The auction for Scarlett Johansson's snotty, disgusting tissue has come to a close, for the one-time only price of $5,300.00. (With free shipping!) So is it just me or is that pretty much the worst deal ever? If Kleenex® tissues cost approximately $2.17 per box for a box of 184, then for $5300 you could technically buy 441,667 tissues for that same amount of money. Unused tissues, even. That's like more than a lifetime supply, probably. You'd have to eventually start using them as napkins or toilet paper or wallpapering your house. Or, you know, you could just have the one snot-covered one from Scarlett Johansson. Way to be champion of the recession, asshole.

More of Rose Petal Snot at the Nobel Peace Prize Concert earlier this month: