To the untrained ear, Britney Spear's new album pretty much... Blows. (Pajiba)

Holly Madison is beautiful, dammit. (IDLYITW)

Jamie Lynn Spears having lipo while she was pregnant is one of those stories I would normally immediately dismiss. Except, oh yeah, she's a Spears. (Yeeeah!)

Paris Hilton has a new BFF, and the world collectively doesn't give a shit. (The Blemish)

Corey Haim's engagement to some skank has been called off. NO! (Seriously? OMG!)

Celine Dion has a frozen embryo waiting. What you didn't know is that it's still inside of her body. (Celebitchy)

Carnie Wilson is a great innovator (Celebslam)

This is the biggest compliment that's been paid to Winehouse in ages. (Agent Bedhead)

Jennifer Aniston says the mother-eff word, and my opinion of her just slightly improved. (CelebSmack)

Milla Jovovich turns up at Spike TV's Scream Awards. (usemycomputer)

Blah blah blah, Grammy nominations, blah blah blah. (popbytes)

Now the common person can be gaunt and sickly looking -- just like Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna! (Lainey Goss)