Glamorous: (Adjective) Full of glamour; charmingly or fascinatingly attractive.

Drew Barrymore attended the premiere of Grey Gardens, the full-length HBO film adaptation of the documentary with the same name, decked out in fabulous 20's flapper style with on-again, off-again boyfriend Justin Long on her arm. I'm not a big fan of Drew, but I think she looks amazing and pulls the look off flawlessly. Having said that, I think in the future I'd like to see more of Drew with stuff covering her face. What? No! I didn't mean it like that. I meant the mouth part of her face. Right? Because she's really, super annoying whenever she opens it. Oh, because ... Did you think I meant? The other thing? Well that is all on you. I absolve myself of any and all blame on that one.

Grateful: (Adjective) Feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful.

I've gathered a selection of photos here from the premiere of Hannah Montana The Movie, because, let me tell you, that Miley Cyrus really knows how to work a red carpet. In almost every single photo I saw she looks either completely bored, like she smelled a fart or a combination of the two; as if she can barely contain her dripping contempt towards Disney for making her be there. Life must be so hard, having to promote a movie for a franchise that made her a household name in the first place. God, just leave the poor girl alone so she can go back to what she does best: banging a 20-year-old, taking half-naked myspace pictures of herself and offending the Asians.

Gayest: (Adjective) More gay than any other gay.

Today in "Mario Lopez Does or Says Something Totally Gay" news:

Mario Lopez has reason to celebrate: He's got a fierce six-pack. But that toned bod isn't completely au naturel.

The former A.C. Slater uses Lab Series Skincare for Men's Ab Rescue Body Sculpting Gel. "It makes you look more chiseled," he gushed recently. (Source)

Love it. I can't even imagine a world where a Mario Lopez quote wasn't followed with a predicating clause such as "he gushed," "he squealed," "he giggled" or "he tee-hee'ed while making jazz hands."

Granny Panties: (Noun) Unflattering underwear, usually baggy and cotton, that every woman owns at least one pair of.

Jennifer Garner was caught picking her adorable daughter Violet up from kindergarten yesterday wearing less than flattering underpants, which were seen ripped and tattered sticking out above the waistband of her jeans. I suppose you think I'm going to make fun of her for this, but I say more fucking power to her. You know why? Because real mothers don't wear $3000 Chanel tracksuits to third world countries while shopping for new children. Real mothers can't be bothered to put on fancy looking underthings because they're too busy juggling a newborn and carting around a toddler to give a flying crap. In fact, if mothering skills could be judged by the condition of one's underpants, I'd say Jennifer Garner here wins the Mother of the Year Award. So go stick that in a syringe and inject it somewhere in your haggard face, Madonna.

Gag: (Verb) To choke or retch.

New BFF alert! Reportedly aging, stale hipster actress Drew Barrymore has latched onto the younger, fresher hipster actress Ellen Page. Yippee! Oh, that was an exclamation of sarcasm, by the way.

Ellen Page, 22, joined Drew, 34, at the Palazzo in Las Vegas on Feb. 21 to celebrate their shared birthday weekend with "birthday cakes, Red Bull and champagne," an insider tells OK!.

In fact the pair was so chummy that standing "arm in arm" at a Cat Power show at Avalon Hollywood on Feb. 10, "Drew rested her head on Ellen's shoulder and rubbed her nose on her neck," an onlooker says. (Source)

It's funny. I just like, knew that Ellen Page would eventually do something to make me wanna puke... And look! Now it's happened. I've had my suspicions in the past, but I think this proves that I'm clearly psychic. Although having the power to see into the future to know which celebrities will annoy you is pretty much the most useless psychic power ever. Why couldn't it have something to do with the lottery? Stupid life.

More of Juno at the Independent Spirit Awards:

Gene Pool: (Noun) The stock of different genes in an interbreeding population.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony continued their united front of solidarity at Rat Face's show at Madison Square Garden on Valentine's Day, even bringing their one-year-old twins, Max and Emme onstage with them at the end. Judging by little Max here, I'm going to go ahead and say that these kids probably don't get their looks from their mom's side of the family. I'm going to say that because it's not nice to say that a baby looks like a Puerto Rican cross between Mini Me and Gollum. And if there's one thing I like to keep around here, it's a sense of decorum.

Glutton: (Noun) An excessively greedy eater.

Hey guys, I'm back! Sorry, I don't normally take off for stupid holidays like President's Day or Columbus Day or Easter or what have you... But, I decided I wanted a day off. So, there. Anyway, it looks like I missed a ton of good gossip yesterday. Such as, Lindsay Lohan fired back at weight loss rumors at a fashion week event this weekend after many of us have been noticing that there has been considerably... Less of her lately.

"I eat. I had my Big Mac yesterday from McDonald's," she told Us Sunday at the Matthew Williamson NYC store opening. "I eat just as much as I always have."

The 22-year-old actress said she thinks she has just been "working a lot." She said she also blames "stress ... and lack of sleep when I travel." (Source)

This is clearly a bold-faced lie. Working a lot? Lindsay Lohan? We're talking about the same firecrotch now, aren't we? Furthermore, it's obvious she's lying about the Big Mac thing because these are photos from the actual event and I don't see a large, Big Mac shaped protrusion sticking out of her stomach like a python that just swallowed a live cow.

Genetic: (Adjective) Relating to or influenced by the origin or development of something.

Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for an incident that occurred back in August, when she slapped gossip columnist Zoe Griffin for calling her fiancee Luke Worrall "stupid." Griffin also allegedly insinuated that Worrall didn't know what an earthquake was. Oooh. Sounds like a good enough reason to me.

'She was arrested for common assault relating to an alleged incident in Soho in the early hours of 29 August 2008.' “She has been bailed until a date in March.” Kelly was released on bail until March.

Kelly recently revealed she would 'do anything for her man' Kelly told Closer magazine: 'I’ve never been this mushy with anybody ever before, but this time I can’t help it. He’s perfect. Everything about him is brilliant. (Source)

Of course, the hilarious thing here is that Sharon Osbourne is currently being investigated over the incident in which she assaulted "Rock of Love" Charm School's" Megan Hauserman when Megan insulted Sharon's husband. I guess it just goes to show: The apple really doesn't fall far from the angry, booze-soaked, codependent, low-self esteem-having tree!

At the Fox Winter All-Star Party last week: (The family who collects assult and disorderly conduct charges together stays together!)

Gracious: (Adjective) Courteous, kind, and pleasant.

Fergie's wedding sounds like it was a real treat for her guests. For one thing, as her mother Terri told Seacrest yesterday, if you had been invited, don't even think about bringing a date with you.

There were "350, 375 people were there," Terri said, "and that was keeping it way down! So many people couldn't bring a date unless they paid me money or something! It had to be someone you're actually engaged to or something like that." (Source)

Additionally, in order to attend the prestigious wedding of Fergalicious; I hope you don't mind being treated like cattle or having your personal belongings rifled through and confiscated:

A source tells the New York Daily News, "We couldn't bring anything with us. No cell phones, no cameras, nothing. We all met in a parking lot, where we were searched and went through metal detectors. Then we boarded buses and were taken to a private ranch-style estate in Malibu." (Source)

Yeah, because what kind of jerk would actually bring a camera to a wedding? The nerve of some people. But to be fair, this wasn't just any wedding, but the wedding of Fergie. So the flash photography rules apply, just like when you go to the zoo.

More of Fergie and Groom of Fergie leaving for their honeymoon:

The Golden Globes were last night, and unfortunately I didn't watch because I'm sick and went to bed early. But from what I've gathered so far, the highlight of the evening was Ryan Seacrest tripping over himself to interview Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt on the red carpet only to have them brush past him like the tiny, sad little gnat he is. So what I really can't wait for is next weekend, when Joel McHale runs the clip on a loop for pretty much the entire duration of "The Soup."

At any rate, Angelina Jolie looked much better than she did at the Critic's Choice Awards last week, as she usually does when she lets her hair down natural instead of violently pulling it back from her face. Brad Pitt on the other hand, I barely recognized at first because I thought security detail got lost and wandered out right into the middle of the red carpet.

For anyone who cares, you'll find a complete list of winners here. For everyone else, jump on inside for more dresses and dresses and dresses!

Gracefully: (Adverb) Having or showing grace or elegance, esp. in regards to aging.

It pains me to say this. It really, really does. I mean, Goldie Hawn! Come on! "Laugh In..." Wildcats... Overboard... Yes, even Death Becomes Her. I saw that one in the theater, bitches. So yes: I loved Goldie Hawn.

But the face... There's something not right about the face. This is definitely not the result of Mother Nature's natural aging process. But for the life of me, I couldn't even tell you what kind of cosmetic surgical procedure causes premature hobgoblining. Chemical peel?

*Shudder*

Gross: (Adjective) Very unpleasant; repulsive.

Looks like it must be Josh Kelley's lucky day! He just got to find out what the inside of an ashtray smells like!

Gloat: (Verb) To dwell on another's misfortune with smugness or malignant pleasure.

Nicole Richie is reportedly "thrilled" that Paris Hilton is no longer dating Benji Madden. Well, duh. Of course she is.

"She never thought Paris was ever really into" Benji, the twin brother of her baby daddy, Joel. And she may be right! Four days after dumping the Good Charlotte rocker, the hotel heiress was seen sneaking into L.A.'s Koi restaurant for a quiet dinner with her Greek shipping heir ex-boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos!

"She was trying to fly below the radar and left alone about 30 minutes later," says another source. Meanwhile, Nicole is telling Benji that he "deserves better." (Source)

That's kind of redundant. Who doesn't deserve better than Paris Hilton? That's like telling a guy he deserves better than to be kicked repeatedly in the balls for the rest of his life. Which is incidentally pretty much the closest thing I can equate being in a relationship with Paris Hilton to.

More of Nicole and Joel at the UNICEF Snowflake Lighting:

Gross: (Adjective) Very unpleasant; repulsive.

I don't think I could write a more disgusting story if I sat down and tried, but David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan (pictured above last month) were seen "full-on making out" at a Beverly Hills restaurant this weekend. See? I just vomited a little bit just typing that out.

There to celebrate Sheridan's 45th birthday, the pair -- who arrived separately and began dinner at separate booths -- "couldn't resist each other for long," a source tells Usmagazine.com.

According to the source, Spade winked at Sheridan and was by her side as she blew out the candles on her birthday cake. Later, the pair reportedly holed up in a booth where they "cuddled and kissed." (Source)

Well, congratulations to David Spade for once again pulling in tail way out his league. And congratulations to Nicolette Sheridan, who was engaged to Michael Bolton for two years, for finding someone who makes Michael freaking Bolton look good in comparison. Oh wait, maybe "congratulations" wasn't the right sentiment I was looking for here. Yeah, I think I  definitely meant "I'm sorry."

This is such a publicity stunt. Look, there's even photos of them "arriving separately" Friday night:

Goth Girl: (Noun) A young woman who characteristically has pale skin, black or red dyed hair, and wears dark eyeliner, black nail polish, and black clothes.

Francis Bean Cobain attended the Twilight premiere last night, because of course she did. But, you know, whatever. If Frances Bean Cobain wants to be into some lame book series about retarded, sexy goth vampires, more power to her. For having Courtney Love as a mother it's more than just a minor victory the poor girl didn't turn out illiterate.

Damns, though. She really is a cutie, ain't she?