Vomit: (Verb) Eject matter from the stomach through the mouth.

Since we now know politics is out of the fucking question -- Brooke Hogan thinking of setting the bar to a comfortable level for her next career move: Playboy model!

A VH1 insider said: “Playboy has asked her to consider doing the cover, or at least a photo shoot. “Every year the magazine features the girls of the WWE, but this would be Hulk Hogan’s daughter - it would be the ultimate!” (Source)

So are we all in agreement, then? That Hugh Hefner is senile to the point that he's lost his fucking mind? He must be full blown shitting in diapers by now. This issue has the potential to rival only the Mama Cass debacle of '68 in lowest number of copies ever sold. Yep, I hear after that, old Hef never touched LSD again.

Brooke hulking around some poor unsuspecting swimming pool last week:

Vanna Remote (Slang) Phrase used to describe a person who loses a remote and is then forced to stand in front of the TV and manually change it until he or she finds something suitable to watch. 

I have absolutely no gossip to relate to you with regards to Vanna White. For some inexplicable reason, she was on my brain this morning and I got to wondering whatever happened to her. I realize, of course, that she's still on TV five nights a week, but unless you're 10 years old and visiting your grandparents, I can't imagine anyone would have any reason to even know that "Wheel of Fortune" is still airing on television, 26 years since it began. Does she still turn the letters? Surely, even she's got a remote for that now so that she can stand around with Pat and turn the letters from the distance.

I did find some recent photos of Vanna. from earlier this year. And you know what? For a 51 year old lady, she's looking pretty goddamn fine. But I'll never forget the summer of 1987. I was 12. Slippery When Wet, was the number one album in the country. Adventures in Babysitting was out in theaters. And Vanna White was in Playboy Magazine. 

That was a goddamn good summer.

And there you go, folks. Webster's is my Bitch: The only gossip website on the interwebs that'll do a completely pointless and random post on Vanna White. Tell all your friends about us.

Also, after the cut, a random highlight from "Wheel of Fortune." 

 

Valuable: (Adjective) Worth a great deal of money.

Well, the verdict's in! A Los Angeles judge has named 18-month-old Dannielynn as sole heir to Anna Nicole Smith's estate, likely making her the most valuable baby in the history of all time.

"We and Mr. Stern always believed that Anna Nicole never intended to disinherit her daughter,"' Stern's lawyer, Bruce S. Ross, said after Tuesday's hearing. "I'm pleased to say this chapter in the saga is closed."

The sad thing about this is that in addition to all that money, Dannielynn also inherited Anna Nicole's rich gene tapestry -- which will probably result in her blowing the entire fortune on magic beans or beef jerky or something. But the really sad thing about this is that I still eat chick peas out of the can for lunch and some retarded baby out there is a multi-millionaire.

Vows: Noun. A set of such promises committing one to a prescribed role, calling, or course of action, typically to marriage or a monastic career.

Jenny McCarthy said in a recent interview that she and longterm boyfriend Jim Carrey don't plan on getting married, and are happy just living together.

"All that's (marriage) going to be is a piece of paper, really. What is it a guarantee of? I'll be yours forever? I'll be faithful? Bull! He is the light of my life and we're more in love now than we have been in our entire relationship."

Well that certainly is refreshing to hear of a Hollywood couple just content with being together, instead of rushing to exchange vows out their asses by pretending to make their butt cheeks talk.

Vroom: Noun. The roaring sound of an engine or motor vehicle.

You know what's crazy about Christina Ricci? Sometimes she looks petite and gorgeous, and other times she looks like some kind of gnarled, fanged little troll. Obviously, this happens to be one of the former, as she appears here to be mostly radiant. Just one thing though: Vroom! Vroom! What's up with the godforsaken racing stripes? Doesn't she know racing stripes and formal wear go together like Nascar and caviar? Or Nascar and Gay Pride? Or Nascar and sobriety? Or Nascar and (insert any one of a million interchangeable Nascar jokes here)?

I can't tell if that's actually Paris Hilton or if it's a wax statue of her likeness. She is that vacuous. I suspect a wax statue is probably smarter, though, and less disease ridden.

More from Kristen Cavallari's birthday party:





 

In the wake of the tragic death of Brad Renfro, who was found dead yesterday morning after a night of partying with friends, it didn't take long before the vultures started circling. And who does one turn to when one needs an uninformed psychological diagnosis on a fallen celebrity? Why, the most soothing-voiced vulture of them all -- Dr. Drew, of course!

The fact that he was drinking could an indication that Renfro, who has battled heroin addiction for several years, took illicit drugs before his death, addiction expert and Celebrity Rehab host Dr. Drew Pinsky tells PEOPLE.

"Just the fact that he was a known addict who was drinking, that's all you need to know," Pinsky says. "Renfro was taught in rehab to stay away from booze, and if he was drinking the night before, odds are the coroner will find other substances in his body."

What? You mean to tell me he didn't die from a Miller Lite overdose? Thank goodness for the sage advice of credible medical professionals like Dr. Drew, or we'd never be able to figure out why habitual drug users are found dead for undetermined reasons, or that Britney Spears acts crazy because she is crazy.

I don't think that, until I saw this shot of Mischa Barton visiting the Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Beverly Hills, I ever noticed the resemblance between her and the Virgin Mary. It's uncanny! And she and Mary have something else in common, too: Mary gave birth to Christ, and Mischa loves to drink the blood of Christ before getting behind the wheel of a car. Lots of it. She gets drunk on Jesus!

Raaawhhhr! Keep your children away. Lock the doors. Hide your snacks. Vince Vaughn has escaped. He's on the loose, folks. And your perishable items are no longer safe. He eats with aplomb. He ravages the countryside. He rapes ice cream cones. He murders Twizzlers. And pillages Chex mix. Organic material is no longer safe -- keep your distance. He'll eat the crumbs on your shirt and the nipples off your chest. Run for your lives!

Scarlett Johansson, who has kept a modest profile for the last few months after an early 2006 that saw her metaphorically rubbing her cleavage into everyone's face, has sought to expand the popularity of her chest beyond America. She recently posed for a photo shoot in the Belgium edition of Elle magazine. The language in Belgium, however, is difficult to translate; they speak French, German, and Dutch, and use a host of local dialects.

However, we here at Webster's is my Bitch once again have exclusive scoop on the pull-quote on the picture above. We have assembled a crack-team of translators, and according to our experts, the pull quote in red reads: "She has a beautiful pair of breasts, but in the head: Nothing but rocks. You could launch a space shuttle out of the empty space between her ears. There's always a vacancy, but the light is never on."

It's good to know that Belgians and Americans both think alike.

Brangelina probably isn't going to buy Neverland Ranch, but it's still fun to think about. (DListed)

Carson Kressley takes a moment to remind us all that he's still totally fa-lammming and fabulous! (Ayyyy!)

Vince Vaughn on the Fred Claus poster, about four chins lighter thanks to Photoshop. (Popbytes)

Ahhh, yeah. This is more like it. (GabbyBabble)

Britney finally learns what the rest of the world already knows. (Yeeeah!)

Ever hear the one that goes -- what did Paris Hilton say to the drunken elephants? (Evil Beet)

Julia Roberts thinks she looks like Johnny Depp; is crazy. (Agent Bedhead)

Let's all take a nostalgia trip with Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano. (Pajiba)

Vajayjay Defined
Though it's origin is in dispute (the NYTimes wrongly attributes it to "Grey's Anatomy," though "GA" certainly introduced it to mainstream audiences), the term vajayjay refers to a female's naughty bits.

The NYTimes Styles Section, in its infinite wisdom, ran an entire article on the origin and usage of the term, Vajayjay over the weekend, writing, in part:

It began on Feb. 12, 2006, when viewers of the ABC series “Grey’s Anatomy” heard the character Miranda Bailey, a pregnant doctor who had gone into labor, admonish a male intern, “Stop looking at my vajayjay.”

The line sprang from an executive producer’s need to mollify standards and practices executives who wanted the script to include fewer mentions of the word vagina.

The scene, however, had the unintended effect of catapulting vajayjay (also written va-jay-jay) into mainstream speech. Fans of “Grey’s Anatomy” expressed their approval of the word on message boards and blogs.

The show’s most noted fan, Oprah Winfrey, began using it on her show, effectively legitimizing it for some 46 million American viewers each week.

And here's the thing, folks: Once a term has been popularized by "Grey's Anatomy," legitimized by freakin' Oprah Winfrey, and written at length by the NYTimes, it's time to retire the word. Put it to rest, folks. Let's leave Vajayjay to where it belongs now -- it's final resting place, a place where "you go, girl," "talk to the hand," and the Macarena still carries some cachet: Middle-aged women who work in HR and/or medical offices, who began watching "The Real World," five years ago to connect with their teenagers, five years too late.

R.I.P. Vajayjay.