Vroom Vroom: (Noun) The roaring sound of an engine or motor vehicle.

Hugh Jackman arrived to the red carpet premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine via motorcycle, because I guess a bunch of PR people thought it would be really cool or something. Note to PR people: It wasn't cool. Next time try something a little more impressive like a hot air balloon or hovercraft. Amateurs.

More from the X-Men Origins: Wolverine premiere. Ryan Reynolds looks flat out embarrassed to be there:

Vindictive: (Adjective) Having or showing a strong or unreasoning desire for revenge.

Now that Doug Reinhardt is famous for going out with Paris Hilton, it's becoming quickly clear that he has no intentions of using his newfound power for good, rather than evil. His first mission? Destroy Amanda Bynes.

ALL'S fair in love and Hollywood. Starlet Amanda Bynes was refused entry to LA's Club H'Wood the other night, causing some celebrity blogs to dub her "desperate" and "clamoring" to get in. What they didn't note was that reality star/doorman Frankie Delgado was out front and "wouldn't let Amanda in because his best pal Doug Reinhardt [Bynes' ex and Paris Hilton's current beau] was inside," said our source. (Source)

If I could see Doug Reinhardt's mental checklist, it would probably go something like this: Find most famous whore in the world to date. Check. Elevate own fame. Check. Make ex-girlfriend's life a living hell. Check. Stop at CVS and pick up antibiotic creme, Icy Hot, and refill of Valtrex for the missus. Check, check and check.

More of Paris with a bird, which sadly did not peck her eyes out:

Vulgar: (Adjective) Making explicit and offensive reference to sex or bodily functions.

Britney Spears, pictured above at Disneyworld last week, had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction during a show in Tampa when her leotard ripped, exposing her, uh, lady area. Naturally, Britney handled the incident with grace and aplomb.

The singer had just finished performing I'm A Slave 4 U and was being lowered beneath the stage when she revealed her costume blunder. Failing to realize her microphone was still on, she said, "My p**sy was hanging out!" - causing the arena to erupt in laughter. (Source)

Britney Spears, ladies and gentlemen! Pretty much the only difference between her and a truck driver is that truck drivers aren't allowed to be that heavily medicated before getting behind the wheel.

Victim: (Noun) A person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action.

Miley Cyrus has a memoir coming out for some inexplicable reason, because she's 16 and who the fuck cares. Anyway, in the book, aptly titled Miles to Go, (SNERK!) Miley talks about how horrible her life was before she became famous and how she was "brutally" picked on in school. Wah, like who wasn't?

"The girls took it beyond normal bullying. These were big, tough girls," Miley wrote. "I was scrawny and short. They were fully capable of doing me bodily harm."

Cyrus recalled one particular incident when her detractors locked her in the girls' restroom during class. "They shoved me in," she wrote in her book. "I was trapped. I banged on the door until my fists hurt. Nobody came. I spent what felt like an hour in there, waiting for someone to rescue me, wondering how my life had gotten so messed up." (Source)

Oh, you know what? I've got the world's tiniest violin here. It's a shame I don't have a bigger one, because I probably could have given it to those girls to use to beat her with. Most people don't realize it, but violins have just the perfect amount of leverage to make them the ideal beating tool.

Virtuous: (Adjective) Having or showing high moral standards.

Here is Miley Cyrus' Christian underwear model boyfriend, Justin Gaston, managing to take his dick out of an underage girl just long enough to pose grabbing it for VMAN magazine. You know, I barely even recognized him since he's not wearing that crucifix around his neck like he usually does. But hopefully, thanks to publicity like this he should be much more recognizable by the time he gets thrown in with the general population.

Vagrant: (Noun) A person without a settled home or regular work who wanders from place to place and lives by begging.

Joaquin "BYE! GOOD" Phoenix, who announced his retirement from acting last fall, is now having his brother-in-law/filmmaker Casey Affleck document his burgeoning career as a rapper. So it must have been very exciting for patrons of Lavo nightclub in Vegas when they got treated to a taste of his rapping skillz when he jumped up onstage for an impromptu performance this weekend. And when I say they got a "taste," I mean that he jumped up and down pumping his fists like a three year old at a birthday party before making some unintelligible noises into the microphone and falling off of the stage. The only way this performance could have been more humiliating is if someone were projecting Space Camp onto a screen behind him. Luckily for him, I think he even then he would have been too drunk to notice.

More of old Leaf at Lavo nightclub on Friday: (Hole in the crotch presumably intentional.)

Vomit: (Verb) To eject matter from the stomach through the mouth.

Can somebody please tell Pete Wentz to shut the eff up? After going into great, great detail going on about his, ugh, "sex life" last week, now Wentzhole is now talking about drinking Ashlee's breast milk.

Pete Wentz revealed that wife Ashlee Simpson's breast milk tastes "soury" and "weird" on SIRIUS' The Morning Mash Up! on Monday. The Fall Out Boy bassist, 29, may not be a fan, but Ashlee and Pete's newborn Bronx Mowgli is: "The baby loves it, it’s the only thing he’s had a chance to have." (Source)

Don't you just love how he acts like the taste of breast milk is so strange and unfamiliar? Nice try, asshole. Everyone knows damn well that Pete Wentz didn't turn out to become a guy like Pete Wentz without breastfeeding until he was at least four.

Virtuous: (Adjective) Having or showing high moral standards.

In the January issue of Maxim, Hilary Duff speaks out against having been misquoted to the effect that she had supposedly declared her virginity.

You know what? I was quoted saying I was a virgin, but I absolutely did not say that. That’s nobody’s business but my own. Somehow it turned into a bad thing! (Source)

Right on, sister. There is nothing wrong with a woman who likes to fuck. And you know what? If more of these girls owned up to their sex-having instead of being all secretive and shameful about it and actually used protection; then maybe the Spears sisters wouldn't have rugrats hanging all off of them, Bristol Palin wouldn't be having a baby, and Miley Cyrus wouldn't be getting knocked up in the insert not-so-distant future date here.

Vomitous: (Adjective) Of something which is extremely nauseating and barf-inducing.

I never thought I'd say this, but I think even I'm starting to get Heidi and Spencer'ed out after the past week. So now that the inevitable staged candid photos from their Totally 100% Fake Honeymoon have finally showed up on the internet, I can barely even muster a reaction other than vomiting into my trashcan. And let me tell you, Heidi and Spencer vomit is the worst kind of vomit. The only way I could possibly imagine there being a more unpleasant taste in my mouth right now would be if I literally made out with Spencer Pratt with a mouthful of dog shit.

What's with Heidi sticking her butt out all over the place? They call that "presenting" in the animal kingdom.

Veep: (Noun) Informal; a vice president.

Not content to let Sarah Palin to go hogging up all of our nation's ridicule for too long, Heidi and Spencer weighed in on the Vice Presidential candidate:

"He picked a girl and it wasn't Heidi," Spencer joked. "Not picking Heidi for the vice president, it's just cold." "I can't believe it," joked Heidi. "I'm really hurt. Blondes have more fun. I guess he doesn't know that." (Source)

See people? You can complain about Palin until you're blue in the face, but just think: it could always be worse. Maybe we're at risk for having the major of Podunk, Alaska -- who excels at little more than making a killer Apple Brown Betty and breeding like rabbits -- be the potential leader of the most powerful country in the world... But at least she ain't Heidi Montag. No really, think about that. We could end up with Spencer Pratt's face on our money and "Higher" as our national anthem. So you can go right ahead and let the evangelical lunatic send the country down the shitter, thank you very much.

Vindictive: (Adjective) Having or showing a strong or unreasoning desire for revenge.

In the September issue of Allure, Carrie Underwood opens up about her past relationships, revealing that Tony Romo still calls her. Ohhhhh snap!!!

"We were both small-town people doing very big things, and we relied on each other, dealing with fame," she says of Romo. "I don't know. The phone will ring and it'll be him, and I'll maybe not answer." (Source)

Whatever. Jessica Simpson is a strong, confident woman, so I'm sure this obvious and feeble attempt at making her jealous won't upset her in the least. Ohhh, wait... I'm thinking of Jessica Plympton, a girl I went to college with. She always kicked everybody's ass at beer pong and crushed the cans on her forehead afterwards. Yup, that girl was a real firecracker. Jessica Simpson on the other hand... Well, she's probably on her fifth box of tissues and sixth box of whoopie pies by now.

It must be serious... She's got Ken Paves working on overtime:

Vulgar: (Adjective) Making explicit and offensive reference to sex or bodily functions.

Samantha Ronson accompanied Lindsay Lohan out in Los Angeles yesterday wearing a shirt with naked wieners all over it, in front of children and God and old people and everyone. While this does seem really crass and inappropriate, you gotta cut the girl a break. I mean, she is dating Lindsay Lohan here. She's got to keep hold of her attention somehow, and what better way than to camouflage herself with dick? Kind of like how hunters spray themselves with deer urine.

Click thumbnails for uncensored photos:

Vomit: (Verb) Eject matter from the stomach through the mouth.

Since we now know politics is out of the fucking question -- Brooke Hogan thinking of setting the bar to a comfortable level for her next career move: Playboy model!

A VH1 insider said: “Playboy has asked her to consider doing the cover, or at least a photo shoot. “Every year the magazine features the girls of the WWE, but this would be Hulk Hogan’s daughter - it would be the ultimate!” (Source)

So are we all in agreement, then? That Hugh Hefner is senile to the point that he's lost his fucking mind? He must be full blown shitting in diapers by now. This issue has the potential to rival only the Mama Cass debacle of '68 in lowest number of copies ever sold. Yep, I hear after that, old Hef never touched LSD again.

Brooke hulking around some poor unsuspecting swimming pool last week:

Vanna Remote (Slang) Phrase used to describe a person who loses a remote and is then forced to stand in front of the TV and manually change it until he or she finds something suitable to watch. 

I have absolutely no gossip to relate to you with regards to Vanna White. For some inexplicable reason, she was on my brain this morning and I got to wondering whatever happened to her. I realize, of course, that she's still on TV five nights a week, but unless you're 10 years old and visiting your grandparents, I can't imagine anyone would have any reason to even know that "Wheel of Fortune" is still airing on television, 26 years since it began. Does she still turn the letters? Surely, even she's got a remote for that now so that she can stand around with Pat and turn the letters from the distance.

I did find some recent photos of Vanna. from earlier this year. And you know what? For a 51 year old lady, she's looking pretty goddamn fine. But I'll never forget the summer of 1987. I was 12. Slippery When Wet, was the number one album in the country. Adventures in Babysitting was out in theaters. And Vanna White was in Playboy Magazine. 

That was a goddamn good summer.

And there you go, folks. Webster's is my Bitch: The only gossip website on the interwebs that'll do a completely pointless and random post on Vanna White. Tell all your friends about us.

Also, after the cut, a random highlight from "Wheel of Fortune." 

 

Valuable: (Adjective) Worth a great deal of money.

Well, the verdict's in! A Los Angeles judge has named 18-month-old Dannielynn as sole heir to Anna Nicole Smith's estate, likely making her the most valuable baby in the history of all time.

"We and Mr. Stern always believed that Anna Nicole never intended to disinherit her daughter,"' Stern's lawyer, Bruce S. Ross, said after Tuesday's hearing. "I'm pleased to say this chapter in the saga is closed."

The sad thing about this is that in addition to all that money, Dannielynn also inherited Anna Nicole's rich gene tapestry -- which will probably result in her blowing the entire fortune on magic beans or beef jerky or something. But the really sad thing about this is that I still eat chick peas out of the can for lunch and some retarded baby out there is a multi-millionaire.