Douchenozzle

GQ Magazine named its slate of men of the year honorees today, culling the awardees from the world of politics and pop culture. The Men of the Year issue comes out next week and will feature three covers, which will include Bill Clinton, Daniel Craig, and Kanye West.

The honorees also include: Casey Affleck for Breakout of the Year; Javier Bardem for Villain of the Year; Seth Rogen for Father of the Year; Brad Bird for Innovator; Mike Bloomberg for Maverick; John Cusack for comeback of the year; Tom Hanks as Icon; Hayden Panettiere as obsession of the year; Judd Apatow, Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd as the Comedy Mafia; Mark Ruffalo as Secret Weapon; Simon Cowell as Mastermind; and David Chase for “Final Act.” Additionally, even Cate Blanchett scored for performance of the year, in her role as Bob Dylan in I’m Not There.

Missing from the GQ Magazine list, and thus invalidating it all together, was the Douchenozzle of the Year: Dane Cook, who in a single two-month span was responsible for nearly despoiling Dan in Real Life. torturing us in Good Luck Chuck and, of course, making the baseball playoffs nearly unwatchable by appearing in nearly every commercial break on every channel on television to remind us of what a douchenozzle he is.

Douchenozzle: According to the Urban Dictionary, a douchenozzle is someone who is entirely worthless, useless, scared, a wuss, a wimp, a douche, a loser, a dumbass, a failure, pathetic, uncool, and lame. In other words: Dane Cook.