Family Man

In the latest episode of “Hogan Knows Jack Shit,” Hulk Hogan’s wife Linda has filed for divorce after 24 years of marriage. To make matters even more awesome, Hogan didn’t even know about it until a Times reporter broke the news to him.

He thanked the reporter for the “great information” then called back five minutes later to say, “I’m kind of shocked. You caught me off-guard. My wife has been in California for about three weeks. … Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me. … I just pulled over to the side of the road for five minutes to find out what was going on here.”

Between not even being aware of his own marriage ending, raising an unrepentant, borderline manslaughterer son and whoring out of his gender-ambiguous teenage daughter — I’m don’t know if  “Family Man of the Year” is the right way to go here. I know we’re only eight years in, but I’m thinking “Family Man of the Millennium.”

Family Man: A man who lives with his wife and children, esp. one who enjoys home life.