Martyr

Martyr Defined
A person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, etc.

Always eager to assume the role of martyr, Heather Mills recently revealed that she suffered through the last season of “Dancing With The Stars” with a broken pelvis. What’s that sound I hear? No… Not the world’s tiniest violin… Why, that would be the sound of no one giving a shit.

She says, “I had a broken pelvis when I danced in Dancing With The Stars. I’ve had a broken plate for a few years now and it just pops out now and again.” The injury forced Mills into a wheelchair, but now she’s walking again after her hip was “realigned and cracked back into place by a chiropractor.” Mills now has to find time in her busy schedule to undergo surgery. She adds, “I just can’t take four months out right now.”

You’d think that having a broken pelvis would have been a good indicator of why someone shouldn’t… oh, go on a celebrity dancing competition show in the first place. Although, if not having two fully functional human legs wasn’t a clear enough signal — then yeah, I guess the pelvis thing probably wasn’t going to make much difference either. Although, to be fair to Heather, clearly she’ll never be a woman known for her good decision making skills and strong moral compass. Nope, she’ll just be known as the whorey gold digger who publicly humiliated a beloved cultural icon and starred in a crappy reality show with one leg and a broken pelvis. Que sera!