Joe Francis is once again imploring the public for sympathy — this time claiming abuse at the hands of guards during his brief stay in an Oklahoma jail. Hope your eyes don’t fall out of your head from rolling so violently.

Guards at the Grady County Law Enforcement Center denied Joe Francis food and blankets and threatened to strap him naked to a chair for 48 hours, Francis’ attorneys alleged last month in court papers seeking his release on bail in a Florida case, The Oklahoman reported.

The only thing I would find unjust about strapping Joe Francis naked to a chair is if he wasn’t sprayed down with an icy hose before being slathered in molasses and having fire ants dumped in his crotch while secured. But since there was never even a remote threat of any of this happening in the first place because Joe Francis is a crybaby liar, I guess the point is moot.

Sympathy: Feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune.