Traduce Defined

To cause humiliation or disgrace by making malicious and false statement.

I see right through it, Ellen. You adopt a dog, it doesn’t get along with your cats, and so you give it away to your hairdresser, who just coincidentally has two small children. An evil, cunning plan, Ms. DeGeneres. You must have know when you signed that little piece of paper that the rescue agency would take that dog away, didn’t you, you talk-show harpie? Didn’t you?

I guess I signed a piece of paper that says if I can’t keep [the dog], it goes back to the rescue organization, which is not someone’s home, which is not a family. I thought I did a good thing. I tried to find a loving home for the dog because I couldn’t keep it. Because I did it wrong, those people went and took that dog out of their home, and took it away from those kids. I feel totally responsible for it and I’m so sorry. I’m begging them to give that dog back to that family. It’s not their fault. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have given the dog away. Just please give the dog back to those little girls.

Nice waterworks, wench. How dare you set this whole scheme up as a means to increase ratings on your little dog-and-pony show. You traduce the name of a fine, respectable rescue organization, and exploit those two little girls, for what? Huh? Huh? For what? A little sympathy and a few ratings points. Oh, you’ve hit rock bottom, lady. I hope Oprah snaps your spinal cord in two and gnaws on your kidneys, woman. How dare you demonize a pet rescue agency which only has the dog’s best interest at heart. Clearly, a 2 x 2 cage is a better home for it than a house with children, who’d probably pull that poor dog’s tail and feed it table scraps. It’s a good performance, Ellen — not as convincing as your turn as Janet opposite Tom Selleck in The Love Letter, but a decent performance nonetheless. But I see right through it.